@ka_unplugged: There are two types of people on Twitter. Those who can take a joke, and those who will copy it and claim it as their own
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@Super_Cynthia: [auditions for laundry detergent commercials just so I can splash brightly colored food on myself on purpose]
@3sunzzz: You smell wonderful. Can I ask what you're wearing? Sure, it's the perfume sample on page 49 in April's Cosmo.
@ClichedOut: Baby Judge: You're sentenced to 3 jars of strained peas. *baby bailiffs drop their squeaky toys* *an infant juror spits up*