@LoveNLunchmeat: There are two types of people: those who love terrible puns, and those who are no pun.
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@KaliciaBo: "You are cute like a dog, Momma!" My daughter is very sweet but we must work on her ability to compliment.
@WilliamRodgers: Bro: Dude, is this YOUR Shakira CD??? Me: What? No....it's my wife's..... Hips: No.... It's his... Me: Shut up Hips!
@murrman5: *holding your xray up to the light and looking at it* when did you first notice your back hurting? "after the knife went in"
@offbeatoliv: When skiing it's always good to keep a photo i.d. on you in case they need to identify the body.