@envydatropic: There are two versions of every story and the drunk one is usually the better one
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@Mr_Kapowski: Just a typical Sunday morning of going on and writing Amazon reviews for cheese graters rating them low and saying "not good toys for kids"
@hipchkk: When traveling abroad it's good to learn basic language. "I'd like a beer." "Where's the bathroom?" "I need a taxi." "Just not in my hair."
@Perfect_Beanis: in 2001 i was in a coma dying from meningitis and someone played "in the end" by linkin park and i woke up to tell them to turn it off
@turtledumplin: 8yo: mommy how old are you? Me: 46 8yo: *blink blink* so you seen a real dinosaur?