@GFGander: There better be a martial arts tournament in Australia called Mortal Wombat
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@GloriaFallon123: My 7-year-old daughter asked me twice today "what poison would kill someone the fastest?" and now I'm wondering if I've underestimated her.
@OnceUponALiz: If I ever go missing, my dumbass family will pick a photo where I look happy and my hair looks good, and I'll never been seen alive again.
@myonlymizztake: I work for the government which means I have to enter 2 passwords in order to print documents that are open to the public.