@zorgod: There is a disturbing amount of product placement in my dreams.
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@WhiskeySoured: If a bear is chasing you, don't run. Be very still and tweet about it because you're about to die.
@UncleDuke1969: You follow me. I follow you. You unfollow me. I unfollow you. You follow me. I follow you. You unfollow me. I block you. "A Game of Phones"
@werehedgehog: *yawns so wide a bird flies into mouth* *closes mouth* *looks around to see if anyone noticed* *swallows bird* *acts like nothing happened*
@TheBoydP: Protip: If you’re bad at geography and someone asks about an obscure country just say “isn't that where the oiled up Olympics guy is from?”