@MelvinofYork: There is a woman on this plane going on vacation with a cat in a carrier. Because cats love surprises, travel, and unfamiliar surroundings.
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@WilliamRodgers: Justin Bieber was "Baptized" last night.... Or as the church likes to call it... "A failed attempt to drown Bieber"
@ericsshadow: Cop: license and registration. Me: I don't carry my drivers license so I don't lose it. Cop: where is it? Me: I have absolutely no idea.
@Cunda22: Don't ever mistake me for someone who hasn't flirted with danger. I've got bitten by a Penguin. Twice.
@SergioValenCo: Don't scream. I came to your house because you never responded to my DMs. Are you OK?