@Mikecanrant: There is absolutely nothing wrong with yelling "I HAVE THE POWEEER!" like He-Man after cooking an omelette that doesnt stick to the pan.
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@Reverend_Scott: REALTOR: You'll LOVE this home- ME: My dog doesn't like it. REALTOR: But I- ME: [holding dog in realtor's face] I TRUST HIM MORE THAN YOU
@loribuckmajor: Wrapping gifts and one kid has more than the other so to even it up I hope she likes this bag of potatoes.
@H0TMessBarbie: I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He said I should prolly not go to those places anymore.