@simoncholland: There is no bigger warning of their behavior than my wife calling them, "your kids."
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@thenatewolf: *I see a guy with a shark tooth necklace* ME: Holy shit, that's sharpest part of a shark. Who is this mysterious and brave hunk?
@cray_at_home_ma: Welcome to my home! No you're mistaken, it isn't a mess, it's just gallery-style so you can see everything we own at once. Watch your step.
@Playing_Dad: [Alien abduction] Me: What's it like on your planet? Alien: Very barren, desolate Me: But no politics? Alien: No Me: Ok, let's go