@totallyinatiff: There is no cool way to chase after a ping pong ball.
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@phaggots: "911, please help im dying" Good cop: help is on the way Bad cop: just suck it up and be a man Dad cop: hi dying, im dad
@Adam_Kingsnorth: Well doctor, my problem is basically this: when it snows, my eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.
@jdforshort: Apparently it's frowned upon to wipe sweat from the brow of a sexy guy at the gym Who knew
@mikealfredcaine: saw your mum at the supermarket buying vaseline & cucumbers & nothing else, no wonder your dad died if that what she puts in sandwiches