@Soo_Scandalouss: There is no doubt in my mind, I would trade my ovaries for another liver.
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@Brianhopecomedy: 5 year old: "That's a big truck!" "It's a moving truck." "ALL TRUCKS MOVE." Why am I the one that feels like an idiot?
@PJTLynch: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Technically I pulled myself over, you only asked C: I know, right? They make us say it like that
@NicCageMatch: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change & the strength to lift a car over my head. Saving the third wish for later.
@Home_Halfway: The proper way to make a Caesar salad is to repeatedly stab it with dozens of other people in a Senate building.