@Soo_Scandalouss: There is no doubt in my mind, I would trade my ovaries for another liver.
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@dlicj: [at my grandmas house] MY GRANDMA (not the grandma whose house we're at but my other grandma): (to my grandma whose house we are at) hey
@withanewname: [boarding plane with really old pilot] "think his heart will hold out? lol" attendent: excuse me, sir? "depart out, what time do we leave?"
@wittwitbarista: I have an ungodly amount of Taco Bell hot sauce packets for being a grown woman who's nutritionally responsible for two children.