@Bearslietoo: There is no "i" in "team," but there is a lot of "alcohol" in my "fridge" because I enjoy abusing my liver.
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@painted_eel: *whispers to old lady at Starbucks* one time they ran out of coffee here and we ate a baby
@melibuff: Damn boy, are you wearing an anti-gravity suit? 'Cause I'm not the least bit attracted to you.
@Marilyn_Brando: *grandpa walks in with a bearded man in a plaid shirt & skinny jeans* "uhh grandpa who's that?" "my hip replacement"