@ProfessorWeed_: There is no more cake. This is my suicide note.
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@dhumann: If by "crunches" you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then yes, I do crunches.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: My Roomba sucked up some cocaine & cleaned the entire house in 5 mins. Now my jewelry's missing & the Roomba's trying to bang the blender.
@merewillis: My husband showed me beautiful flowers on his phone & said, "Look, I got you some flowers." So I put them in a vase of water. #LastLaugh
@Tacet_no_more: When my wife says "I don't want to talk about it" that's woman code for you better put your life on hold for 2 hours & find out what "It" is