@ProfessorWeed_: There is no more cake. This is my suicide note.
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@Michael1979: If you fear that a giraffe has killed your wife and stolen her identity, these are the signs to look out for:
@lasergirl70: Coworker to me: " Why are you always rushing out of here after work? You're single with no kids." Me: " Exactly."
@Lakeoconeebldr: This 5 year old is taking a call from his secret agent on a calculator and now I hate my phone.