"There is no such thing as a stupid question." – person who has never walked my family through attaching a photo to an email.

@AGreaterMonster: I would totally surf a tsunami. If I didn't get nauseous on water. And if tsunamis weren't dangerous. And I knew how to surf.

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@squirrel74wkgn: [at movie theatre] Wife: Shhhhhhhhhhh Son: ... Daughter: ... Me (whispers): ...it

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@thatlionkid: Relationship status: binoculars

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@DaddyJew: Laughter is the best medicine, unless you can afford cocaine.

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@TheAlexNevil: The straw that broke the camel's back was either an exceptionally large straw or that camel had some serious osteoporosis.

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