@FeverFlave: Why does Mommy always say no? Well Son, if Mommy said yes all the time you'd have 20 more siblings.

@novicefather: This guy just climbed through a thicket of waist-high shrubbery to avoid walking past me. That's the kind of anti-social I aspire to be.

@thatguyJA: My son ate all the marshmallows in the Lucky Charms and well guess who isn't paying for his college now.

@3sunzzz: Me: My son totaled another car. Progressive: I see that you insure 3 teen sons? M: yes P: *covers phone* HEY GUYS, WE'RE GOING TO ARUBA!

@MissNaughty1801: *on the phone Him: where are you?! Me: I'm just waiting for the train Him: hurry up Me:...no problem. I'll be waiting faster