@Kim_pulsive: There is no way to differentiate between the screams you hear from mass murder, passengers on a plane going down and 5 Tweens seeing a bug
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@d_duhwit: Elf cop:"We got a robbery in progress on Candy Cane lane. Hit the light Rudolf! *Rudolf sticks nose through sunroof*
@novicefather: QA Manager: And what is the protocol when an aircraft comes inbound with a suspected Ebola case? "WTF. Planes can catch this shit too?"
@badbanana: "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to dye." Auric Goldfinger giving instructions at his Easter egg decorating party.