@rachelle_mandik: there is no way you can prove that babies grow and are not instead replaced overnight with entirely new but slightly larger babies
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@cjcapbt: I'm just like Bob Marley but not black or Jamaican or talented or dead but my hair gets tangly .
@pharmasean: Beethoven: hey everybody, this next song’s called "Für Elise” Elise: omg, we broke up 6 months ago, get over urslf B: SHUT UP ELISE I LUV U
@onion_an: [last day at job] "You've made my life a misery, I hate you all" [remembers my car is in the garage and I need a lift] "Not you tho Phil"