@Ideal_Victoria: There is nothing more enjoyable than watching a child being chased by a seagull.
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@ericsshadow: My fashion sense has been described as "They probably won't let you in like that" and "Are those your pajamas?"
@jessokfine: If I were the tooth fairy I wouldn't leave any cash, just a note that says I'VE TAKEN YOUR TEETH
@abbycohenwl: Bring an urn speed dating. Whenever a prospective match asks a question, whisper to urn, "I don't know, Mom: should I tell him?"