@shopkins776: I'm scared some kid is going to break into my house and fleek me to death with a bae

@batkaren: I'm on the steak diet. You just have four steaks for breakfast, four for lunch, then a sensible dinner of six steaks.

@Cryptoterra: learn just enough tap dancing just to tap dance out of the room when you win an argument

@NickSchug: If I worked at a pizza place I would use pepperoni to spell out "Marry me?" on pizzas all the time just to make things awkward for couples.

@envydatropic: If a gym has 75 treadmills, 1 is being used, what do you do? You go home because it's your favorite one being used Math is easy