@Breadery: There is nothing sadder than waking and turning to see the love of your life's face to find she has deflated in the night.
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@thatdutchperson: [blind date] Her: so do you go on a lot of dates? Me: *sucking the gravy from my plate* a lot of first ones.
@NoogsCorner: Take Dr. Seuss, make him a black midget with chronic asthma and give him access to Urban Dictionary. Behold, Lil' Wayne.