@yoyoha: there should be a jail just for people that don't break apart kit kats before they eat them
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@Ygrene: Me: I'm nervous about mingling at the party Wife: Just talk about stuff anyone can relate to [Party] Me: HI I UNDERSTAND YOU TOO ARE HUMAN
@TheKenyan_: I just want to buy an old Mercedes Benz,so people will think I have been rich for a long time.
@krishna_van: "Look on the bright side - at least there's more for us to drink with him gone" is, apparently, not something one should say at a wake.
@NakedHangover: Yelling "shotgun" when getting in a car means a seat in the front. Yelling it before getting on a plane means a seat in the TSA office.