@yoyoha: there should be a jail just for people that don't break apart kit kats before they eat them
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@KentWGraham: I don't understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house.
@david8hughes: Interviewer: says here you have a military background Me [getting out my phone]: yeah but I changed to a picture of my dog eating spaghetti
@JohnnyCrash5: Getting a woman: 1.Select the woman u like 2. Lick her face 3. She is now yours take her home HAHAHAHAHAHA I've been arrested 10 times
@cambuslad: Someone with OCD visited my TL whilst I was napping and now all my tweets seem to be facing the same way.