@WilliamAder: There should be a "Life of Pi" TV show, where they throw a different D-list celebrity in a boat with a tiger every week.
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@The_Grant_Boldt: God: okay I need to create something to fill the dark empty void in the meaningless lives of unmotivated people [creates Twitter]
@garrettbarry70: Wife. Would you cut the label off my dress. Me. Sure *Snip* There you go. Wife. Thanks. Me. No problem. *Kicks pony tail under bed.
@SamuelHLowe: I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one.