@shadygeekdad: There there password. I don't think you're weak.
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@FrogAvalanche: [Jesus plays hide-n-seek] Jesus: [exiting cave] Ah, ya found me! Let's play again. Harder this time. Find me now. [He ascends to Heaven]
@kentgrossarth: Me: Nice flowers. Co-worker: They're from my boyfriend. Now I'm going to spend all weekend w/my legs in the air. Me: Don't you have a vase?
@MichaelGoffLA: What if you told a lie to cover up your affair, and the lie was so good that 2000 years later people were still giving each other presents?