@JermHimselfish: There used to be 9 planets, just like there used to be 9 members of Wu-Tang, but then ODB died so they had to kick Pluto out of the group.
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@killerdollrik: I attend weddings purely to be fortunate enough to hear those two little words that always bring tears to my eyes - "open bar"
@trojansauce: ME: hey baby HOT GIRL: ME: HOT GIRL: ME: HOT GIRL: ME: *looks closer* HOT GRILL: ME: oh
@InternetHippo: me: our president is dumb as hell, he’s always tweeting you: you’re always tweeting me: i’m…that’s different