@markydoodoo: There was a fire at the Yankee Candle store. 8 killed. 19 injured. 1200 soothed.
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@SassyPantssss: I just tried to kill a spider with hairspray. He's still alive, but his hair looks outstanding.
@caperbc75: Sorry my seductive strip tease to Janet Jackson's Black Cat blew your Grandma's pacemaker and caused your Mom to divorce your Dad.
@AaronFullerton: "Welcome to 9-1-1, Florida. If you're calling about a matter related to George Zimmerman, please press 2. Otherwise, stay on the line..."