@markydoodoo: There was a fire at the Yankee Candle store. 8 killed. 19 injured. 1200 soothed.
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@Fred_Delicious: if you're ever worried there's an intruder in your house, shout 69 down the stairs. if no one laughs, there's no one there
@garrettbarry70: [At job interview] M. "No, English is my second language." I. "What's your first language then?" M. "Emoji."
@donni: Got this super hard game on my phone called Bank Of America. You only get a power up every 2 weeks? Need cheat codes