@jonnysun: there was a girl on tv show who was crying sayin "i miss america" and it was real sad until someone corected her grammar and gave her a sash
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@jharden21: Me as a news anchor: an explosion at a nearby t-shirt warehouse resulted in thousands of *turns head to other camera* casual tee casualties
@iAmJuddy: |T|h|i|n|k| |I| |f|o|u|n|d| |s|o|m|e|t|h|i|n|g| |m|o|r|e| |a|n|n|o|y|i|n|g| |t|h|a|n| |h|a|s|h|t|a|g|s|
@AmericanGent69: My 4 year old niece won't eat the grilled cheese I just made her because it looks funny. Kinda choosy for someone that just ate a crayon.
@ladybroseph: Beyonce is a great actress because there is no way she has the time or energy to have the kind of sex she sings about.