@shutupmikeginn: There was a pretty girl in the produce section so to impress her I bought a mango
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@rockymomax: WIFE: stop quoting Britney Spears songs or I'll leave you ME: but I'm a slave 4 u WIFE: that's it ME: (whispers) oops I did it again
@TheCatWhisprer: I hate when I go to unbutton my pants because they're too tight and they're already unbuttoned.
@Bob_Janke: Reports say 3 billion Yahoo accounts were hacked and suddenly 3 billion people remembered they had yahoo accounts.