@shutupmikeginn: There was a pretty girl in the produce section so to impress her I bought a mango
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@bobbiejo448: I love how all the characters in kids shows are always SO thrilled while at work. Like Bob never gets pissed over a missing screwdriver.
@dshack8: Parents w/ 1st kid: *Peels grape & slices it into 84 tiny pieces. Parents w/ 4th kid: *Gives kid knife & fork to cut their own steak.
@Reverend_Scott: Ways to know a guy at the bar wants to take you home: 1. He talks to you. 2. He buys you a drink. 3. That drink makes you REALLY sleepy.