@dog_feelings: there was a sandwich. on the edge of the counter. and now there isn’t. those are all the details. we can confirm so far. the piece of lettuce on my nose. is purely circumstantial
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@OW_Divine: like honestly if werewolves wanted to keep themselves lowkey then why is their name literally ‘we’re wolves’ i mean
@VaguelyFunnyDan: A Russian bomber was intercepted 20 miles from Los Angeles at 5:17am this morning, but no one wants to talk about it 'cause I made it up.
@waelwulf: Careful, friends. [bends down and examines a handprint in the sidewalk] There is a very powerful child nearby.
@PoshTick: [first day as an undercover police officer] me: so uhh does anyone want to do some crime tonight? haha i love crime