@BigBec43: There was a spider in my bathroom so I threw the cat at it. The spider is dead but the cat's pretty pissed
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@UncleDuke1969: Me: "I need a home improvement loan." Banker: "What will you be using the money for?" Me: "A divorce lawyer."
@FatBottomGirl1: Acupuncture for weight loss huh? I've had little pricks before, and they never helped me work off any pounds.
@beefman138: *Brings pen to sword fight* Guy with sword : What's that? Me : Tis mightier! *Gets beheaded*
@rachelle_mandik: Whoever made the almond-milk carton the exact same shape as the chicken-broth carton should have to eat this cereal.