@BigBec43: There was a spider in my bathroom so I threw the cat at it. The spider is dead but the cat's pretty pissed
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@truegritrumble: HER: You look so nervous. ME: *nervously* HA. I'm never nervous. HER: You're sweating. ME: *just freaking out* That's bravery moisture.
@drearydoug: At my parent's house, or as I like to call it, the world's most judgmental self-service laundromat.
@Prof_Peejay: Students, unfollow me now. Tonight's drunk subtweets might sting a little. Especially you Britney. Your lab report was a pile of dog shit.