@JohnHilsen: There were over 14,000 wars before McDonalds launched the Dollar Menu. Since launching it, there's only been 32. Those are just the facts.
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@Schmoodles: My new boyfriend says the cutest things, like "Who are you?" and "Why are you hiding outside my house?" and "My wife is calling the police."
@TrueTorontoGirl: Employee: Everything I eat goes right through me. Me: Yup, that's how digestion works.
@QwertyJones3: [Playing piano to impress a Russian girl] "Do you like it?" Her: That's sheet music "Yes, it is." Her: Now excuse me, I huv to take a sheet.