@KevinFarzad: "There will be snacks." - someone successfully convincing me to do anything
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@AndrewNadeau0: Trump is opting not to have celebrities at his inauguration in the same way that I opted not to take any cheerleaders to prom.
@InternetHippo: doctor: your wife has gone into labour me: oh no wife (yelling from a distance): RAISE THE MINIMUM WAGE
@Lunatic_times: It might be a sign you have a drinking problem when the cashier at the liquor store asks if you own a bar.
@PaperWash: "Pharaoh, we have completed the pyramids. They align to communicate with the galaxy" Sweet. Hey look at these stupid cats I drew LOL