@KevinFarzad: "There will be snacks." - someone successfully convincing me to do anything
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@SlabBaconBP: I hate when I accidentally say "I love you" instead of "I'm biologically driven to want to reproduce with you & I'm temporarily delusional"
@shanethevein: I thought I felt a spider crawling on my neck. Now I have to pretend I was breakdancing at this bank.
@KenJennings: Guy at the park who just put out his cigar and started doing tai chi is my new fitness guru.
@bourgeoisalien: Sad that 25 years ago Homer Simpson seemed like a looser in American culture and now it's like: "Whoa...that guy has a job AND owns a home?"