@KevinFarzad: "There will be snacks." - someone successfully convincing me to do anything
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@House_Feminist: (Man hobbles into grocery store using a cane) 5: HEY MOM THAT MAN IS USING A WALKING STICK BC HIS BONES AREN'T STRONG & HE'LL DIE SOON RIGHT
@simoncholland: Can't believe my daughter said I was embarrassing her by trying to be cool. She needs to check the tude & stop being so wiggity wiggity wack
@TheThryll: You can usually win any arm wrestling contest by simultaneously leaning in for a kiss.