@KevinFarzad: "There will be snacks." - someone successfully convincing me to do anything
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ShutUpThatsWho: [son falls over & hurts himself] ME: aww poor kid, he needs a little THC WIFE: don't you mean TLC? ME: [huge bong rip] he needs what now?
@TheBoydP: "A room in motion will stay in motion until you sober up." ~Newton's little known fourth law of motion
@LolaLuvsLollies: I'm sorry I said "sorry about your eyebrows" when you showed me your wedding photos
@UnFitz: Her: What's your fantasy? Me: It involves peanut butter... Her: Mmmm. Where would you like me to put it? Me: *hands her bread*