@DionneMcNutt: There's 3 ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone or forbid your kids to do it.
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@theedgeofchris: Dora the Explorer has taught me just enough Spanish to engage Spanish-speaking people in the worst conversation they've ever had.
@AimeeHelene1: I feel like I might kill someone today, and I'm starving. So clearly the best solution is to just eat someone.
@Chumpstring: [The Price is Right Wheel-O-Fate stops on the 🕳 symbol] DREW: ooh that's 8 days in the hole CONTESTANT: what? [hole opens in the ground]
@KenJennings: If you're a vegan who ran a marathon & got your dogs from a shelter, how do you decide which thing to wedge into the conversation first?