@DionneMcNutt: There's 3 ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone or forbid your kids to do it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ClickBaite: I always carry a pocket of spare bolts at the carnival and hand two or three to the person taking the seat after me. "I found these. Weird?"
@online_shawn: Pardon the mess, the dog startled me and I threw my shrimp scampi into the ceiling fan
@iAmGolfy: Instead of "Who's your daddy?" I accidentally said "How's your daddy?" and we put our clothes back on and discussed her father's cholesterol
@WineMummy: Cop: Tell me again why you pulled out scissors and gave her bangs. Me: She was flirting with a hot dad that I had my eye on.