@Bandersnaaatch: There's a bird in the yard and she's shaking her tail feathers in hope of attracting a mate. HE SHOULD LOVE YOU FOR YOUR BRAIN, I yell.
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@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: On average, how often do you miss work? ME: *sweating profusely* NO ONE SAID THERE'D BE MATH
@SortaBad: John: There are places... Paul: I remember George: All my life, though... Ringo: How can antibiotics and pro-biotics both be good for you
@Juststopkate: Some days I feel like my life is going super well, & then I get my hair caught in my umbrella. And also my car door.