@Bandersnaaatch: There's a bird in the yard and she's shaking her tail feathers in hope of attracting a mate. HE SHOULD LOVE YOU FOR YOUR BRAIN, I yell.
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@STEELERS1972: The neighborhood is having a meeting tonight about the creepy guy & I'm the only one not invited. Weird.
@slimmy_shady: Tom Cruise has signed on for Mission Impossible V. His impossible mission is trying not to show up on everyone's gaydar.
@dlsims01: Life is like a cup of coffee... No matter how much sugar you put in it, there's always grounds at the end.
@Not_James_Vogel: Ever find buried treasure in your grandpas backyard containing passports, Nazi uniforms, and a photo with Papa with the Fuhrer inside? Yeah.