@Bandersnaaatch: There's a bird in the yard and she's shaking her tail feathers in hope of attracting a mate. HE SHOULD LOVE YOU FOR YOUR BRAIN, I yell.
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@kikdbakbitch: 7: I need a pet pig so I can always have bacon. Me: There are some fundamental flaws in your plan but I like the way you think.
@Robinbuble: I have a mice problem so I lay out tiny red and blue bandanas in hopes they start a west coast/east coast thing and take care of each other.
@LeahsLounge: If you love something, set it free... Except if 'It' is a man. Because he'll get lost, and won't ask for directions.
@ThaJawn: *sees neighbors bringing in KFC *knocks on door Have you seen my dog she got out *teary eyed Neighbor: Aw. No, but if there's- Some KFC?