@LADaddy: There's a button on this hotel phone that says, "Pizza".
I may never leave.
@KrazykurtKurt: Plastic bags biodegrade quicker than my mum getting to the point on the phone.
@TheMichaelRock: "It's pronounced Jeff"
"Whatever you say, Goff"
@AdderallMomma: --Wanna go rubbing in the park tomorrow with me?
Thanks auto correct, this is why I can't have nice friends.
@Leemanish: Bought the cheapest possible Mercedes yesterday 'cause I needed to use the bathroom at the dealership.
@LurkAtHomeMom: Take a day off. Pamper yourself. Visit a spa. Pour melted wax on ur body. Rip the hair out by the roots. Inject poison into ur face. Relax.