@1Happytwit: There's a cat curled up on my pillow, and I'd probably be a lot more cool with that if I actually owned a cat.
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@samLM68: How to enjoy babies: 1 Hold them 2 Kiss them 3 Hand them back to their mom 4 Go have drinks with grown ups 5 Laugh about not having a baby
@bombsydoll: Yeah, I've got that Sexy Librarian thing going on. Except I'm not sexy. Or a librarian. I would like you to keep it down though.
@ibid78: DISPATCH: we have a report of a robbery in progress four blocks from your current location HOT AIR BALLOON COP: I'll be there in 80 days
@Fred_Delicious: *sees a hot girl on the train* "ay gurl check this out" *i try to seductively eat a banana but i miss my mouth & smush it into my forehead*