@goldengateblond: There's a crying baby on my bus and I'm all "shut up baby, you're not the one going to work."
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@shipwrecksean: I'm looking for something with the health benefits of yoga but absolutely none of the yoga
@VanGobot: *captain over the PA*: and if you look out your window to the left, you'll see Jerry, who is no longer my best friend, and deserves this.
@brendohare: I wear a 3-piece suit to bed in case someone breaks in & we have nothing to talk about. "Did you notice I'm wearing a suit?" "Yes"