@KentWGraham: There’s a fire at a trick birthday candle plant. Firefighters have been battling the blaze on and off for 5 days.
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@roostermustache: Biden: can i put whoopee cushions under all the chairs before he gets here Obama: joe im on the phone Biden:*muttering* u didnt say not to
@TheBoydP: Drink like a fish and you'll never feel like a fish out of water socially. You might look like one but you'll never feel like one...
@bighandsmassuer: If you send her a message and she doesn't reply in six months she is probably thinking about it
@Reverend_Scott: [Ouija Board] "Oh great spirits tell me ur secrets" Ｙｏｕ＇ｌｌ ｄｉｅ ｓｏｏｎ "OMG HOW" Ｈｏｌｄ ｏｎ Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ａｎｏｔｈｅｒ ｃａｌｌ