@froghammer: There's a giant exploding ball of fire in sky every day, and we're just supposed to be cool with it? Hell no, I'm not into that at all.
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@santhonythomas: I finally figured out what flies and mosquitoes are for. They're gods way of making us slap ourselves.
@Sophie2078: I spilled coffee over my keyboard, so I spent all day asking letters from my employees. "Give me a "g" "Give me an "h" They hate me now.
@ClichedOut: Boss: Someone's been cutting corners. Me: Hey, that's unfair. Edward Scissorhands: (acting nonchalant) Yeah, I noticed that, too.