@BGH70: There's a guy in this Taco Bell bathroom stall so loud I'm not sure if it's performance art or a solstice goat sacrifice.
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@shopkins776: I took two years of anger management courses Now I'm the manager of four brand new anger stores
@stephenjmolloy: [3rd date] Kate: You wanna come back to mine for coffee? Ian: Sure! Kate: Have you got any condoms? Ian: Do you not know how to make coffee?
@closetoclassy: Based on the things my kid will and won't eat, my cooking is apparently worse than a stale Fruit Loop covered in dog hair.