@nuttywhippet: There's a job in the paper for a park litter attendant. Experience is not necessary, you just pick it up as you go along.
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@eedrk: Girl: Some1 in my house can't call 911 they'll hear me pls help. Me (after waiting 20 minutes to text back so I don't seem desperate): hey
@trustmedaddy: My favorite part of going out is when I sneak out the club without saying bye to anyone to go home and sleep
@GlennyRodge: My bear's diarrhoea problems are starting to worry me. The vet says he's getting better but he's not out of the woods yet.
@hot_coughy: When a woman says "I can't even tell you how upset I am right now" just wait 3 seconds.