@nuttywhippet: There's a job in the paper for a park litter attendant. Experience is not necessary, you just pick it up as you go along.
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@timdonakowski: Nothing is worse than having jock itch. ESPECIALLY within 100 ft of a school or playground.
@Brianhopecomedy: 100,000 Americans signed a petition to have Justin Bieber deported back to Canada. 8 million Canadians signed a petition to prevent this.
@ChaseMit: Just saw a guy riding a skateboard, holding a surfboard. Dunno where he's going but I assume there's Mountain Dew there.
@TheLastVirgo: The moral of Little Red Riding Hood is: 1) Never trust strangers; 2) Learn to differentiate facial features between a wild dog & a human.