@JakeNicholas: There's a man at the mall wearing cargo pants and a fanny pack, who I believe is in the process of becoming a suitcase.
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@SteveSuckington: [text] 11:56 pm Her: whatcha doin? Me: taking a shit 12:03 am Her: whatcha doin now? Me: same shit different day
@Rachelnoise: Him: Whatcha thinkin about? Me: How ferrets are like if a cat and a scarf had a baby.
@Home_Halfway: JOSH: Hey dad DAD: Oh my god is your name still Josh JOSH: Um yeah DAD: We're changing it JOSH: No please don- DAD: It's done ERIC: What the
@alfageeek: 9: My room is clean. Me: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.