@UncleDuke1969: The worst part about "Friends" being canceled is that I've now been stuck with Rachel's last haircut since 2004.
@samiru27: Jane Austen really squandered the opportunity to write a sequel called "2 Proud 2 Prejudiced."
@Home_Halfway: ME: How much for this aggressive bottle of water?
FIREFIGHTER: Sir that's a hydrant
@NoompsyDahling: People who say love is dead have obviously never seen me eat a burrito.
@DirtMcTurd: My favorite part of the date is when I tell her that I want her to have my kids. And then I give them to her, all 3 of them.
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