@omgthatspunny: There's a new type of broom out, it's sweeping the nation.
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@AndyAsAdjective: 8YR OLD: dad, why do spiders not stick to their own webs? ME: [remembering I asked the same question when I was smoking pot at a party in college] are…are you high right now?
@copymama: Starting to miss the kids after 5 days at grandma’s, so I wistfully dumped a bin of toys on the floor and sprinkled crumbs on the couch.