@AntozWolf: There's a reason the iPhone autocorrects "Yolo" to "tool."
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@jazmasta: "Please. I need this" I whisper as a 14 year old girl starts to get the better of me in an arm wrestling match.
@AnkCoupleTO: I tried hypnotizing my wife but *cluck* I think *cluck cluck* something went wrong is that *cluck cluck cluck* corn on the ground?
@MinchinRob: GF: I'm sick of communicating via walkie talkies. I think we should breakup ME: we should breakup what? OVER GF: its over ME: its what? OVER
@mattytalks: She was a fax machine She kept her modem clean She was the best damn printer that I've ever seen