@AntozWolf: There's a reason the iPhone autocorrects "Yolo" to "tool."
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@Mothpete: The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That's 15 minutes, right? I'm not reading too much into it?
@dumbbeezie: When you say you don't feel good "Are you pregnant?" -people without kids "Do you have to poop?" -people with kids
@ThisOneSayz: Me: what big eyes you have! Me: what big nose you have! Me: what big teeth you have! Dog: you're drunk again, aren't you?
@NoTheOtherJohn: "NOAH. YOU WILL BUILD AN ARK" k "NOT "K" THIS IS IMPORTANT" Sorry "THATS OK. TAKE 2 OF EVERY ANIMAL ON IT" Even fish? *THUNDER* "NO NOT FISH