@AntozWolf: There's a reason the iPhone autocorrects "Yolo" to "tool."
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@TrueQuixote: Computer backup systems are expensive so I include "Death To America" in my email signature & the NSA backs up everything I've ever written.
@thenatewolf: *holding my crying child* Me: I know, earthquakes are scary. So maybe next time you'll be good and I won't have to make that happen again.
@InternetHippo: What should we call this giant advertising board? PHIL: A philboard BILL: I have a better idea
@DaddyJew: Peter Pan is my favorite story about how running away from all your problems will allow you to remain youthful and to possibly fly someday