@Courtniss_: There's a special hole in my backyard for people to hit me in the back of the ankles with a shopping cart.
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@iAmDelFreaky: I didn't think a McDonald's Happy Meal would fill me up, but it did... OMG, I ATE THE TOY!
@BuckyIsotope: FROM: Harvard SUBJ: Your PhD application We are unable to accept you at this time as "Teaching Squirrels Karate" is too cool for us.
@TheHyyyype: [philosophy class] PROFESSOR: u must question everything [later] ME: *grabs lamp and shakes it* what have u been doing all day?!
@LeviathanPride: Does North Korea remember what happened the last time a country attacked Hawaii?