@fart: theres a train nerd counting the number of ppl that get on and off at every stop. at first i pitied him but he seems happy so now i hate him
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@MartaEffing: Her: omg, I'm SO happy for you! Me: *shaking head* No, no, no... I said I got 'enraged', today. Not 'engaged'.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Most of us were taught to never get in cars with strangers, so taxi cabs make absolutely no sense.
@Thee1_4U: Everybody is complaining about their significant other, and I'm over here trying to keep mine charged above 10%.
@causticbob: A salesman knocked on my door today. "Who currently provides your Internet?" he asked. I said, "My next door neighbour."