@Pink: There's a woman at breakfast with a mink purse. I guess it's important to skin an animal alive to keep your credit cards warm... Idiot
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@GoldenSpirals: I'm just a girl, sitting in her car, wondering what the person I texted "I'm in the cat" to, is thinking right now.
@lovejulieacafe: I just opened an email from the vet wishing my dog a happy birthday. I replied asking them to call her because she can't read.
@internetluke: Waiter: Is Pepsi okay? Coke: everybody cares to ask about Pepsi. Nobody asks how I am *coke storms off angrily*
@Marlebean: Hostess:There's a 45 min wait Me:Do you know who I am? I have THOUSANDS of followers! H:Let me ask my manager *2 min later H:It'll be 43 min