@DaveTheAlbino: There's absolutely no way Lady Gaga was born with half an Office Depot hot-glued to her head.
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@tricycle_champ: BREAKING NEWS: Bread is extremely toxic to humans. "Just throw it all in a lake somewhere," says one long-billed scientist
@djdarrellripley: Her: I noticed you're wearing one green sock, and one red sock. Me: Yea, I've got another pair just like these at home...
@bazecraze: Donald Trump was born when someone put a pinkie ring in a bag of Cheetos and left it in a lightning storm.