@DaveTheAlbino: There's absolutely no way Lady Gaga was born with half an Office Depot hot-glued to her head.
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@RappaRick: Monday: forearms Wednesday: forearms Friday: forearms Sunday: forearms --Popeye's gym schedule
@ieatanddrink: This is your pilot speaking. We'll be taking off shortly once our flight crew confirms that this is, in fact, an airplane
@celestinelea90: This guy's shirt said 'blink if you want me' and now my eyes are watering and I need to close them but ohmygod you guys I DO NOT WANT HIM