@joerogan: There's an age where being drunk becomes pathetic but if you hang in there somewhere around 70 it becomes cool again.
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@joejwest: [chess tournament] RIVAL: [plays move] ME: [knocks board aside. punches rival in face] Chess! COMMENTATOR: He's won every round this way
@StinkyGr33n: I'm just saying, instead of calling it a "mule", it would have made more sense to call it a honkey.
@david8hughes: If you see a distressed woman in the street screaming that she can't find her baby, don't offer to help her make another one.