@joerogan: There's an age where being drunk becomes pathetic but if you hang in there somewhere around 70 it becomes cool again.
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@adamhess1: The girl I just showed off my Fitbit to thought I was really cool until she saw my heart rate increasing with every second she spoke to me
@MarfSalvador: Neighbor: Oh your baby has beautiful big eyes! My wife: Yeah, like his dad Me: *Stares suspiciously at our gardener Sauron*