@joerogan: There's an age where being drunk becomes pathetic but if you hang in there somewhere around 70 it becomes cool again.
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@lasergirl70: My cat that died 3 years ago got a letter saying she needs to register if she wants to vote, showing how well Florida handles elections.
@BritXNic: "Alcohol doesn't affect me" *Wakes up with cornrows, a light saber and two taxidermy lizards*
@koalaslament: the closest I've ever come to a threesome was when I was mowing the lawn and I got hit in the face by two dragonflies having sex in mid air
@SkinnieTalls: The best thing about coming from a big family is being able to talk louder than normal people.