@djr_102: There's an epidemic in Britain that makes vulnerable young women inexplicably attracted to douchebags who miss leg day.
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@causticbob: Piers Morgan has taken a very strong stance against guns, and who can blame him? If you had a gun, you'd shoot him too.
@causticbob: what's the medical term for a female-to-male gender reassignment surgery? an addadictomy
@Smooheed: Got so drunk last night that I was able to translate three Pearl Jam albums into English
@DaddyJew: Dentist: have you been flossing? [ flashback to me picking steak out of my teeth with a potato chip earlier ] Me: yes