@djr_102: There's an epidemic in Britain that makes vulnerable young women inexplicably attracted to douchebags who miss leg day.
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@DothTheDoth: Two squirrels in the backyard. But they are not playing together. Wonder if there's history.
@Dre_77_: Every time I hear a mean joke about being Canadian, I go right to the hospital and get my feelings checked for free.
@murrman5: [waiting with friend for his test results] "I'm nervous" I'm sure you're fine *sees 2 doctors playing rock paper scissors outside room*
@garrydavenport: One of my "100 things to do before you die" would definitely be "call an ambulance".