@LisaMcAlister1: There's an opening for a scapegoat at our office. I think you'd be perfect for the job.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@3sunzzz: Every time my husband wakes me up to tell me I'm snoring we end up having sex. I'm beginning to question whether or not I snore.
@tangledteatime: Him: Your jokes just aren't relatable to most people. Me: *angrily binges on caviar*
@Lisa_Laughs_: My solution to everything is fire. How do I get out this stain? Fire. How do you fix a car? Fire. How do you break up with someone? FIRE!