@Adar79Angie: There's Angie, and then there's Drunk Angie, and one of us tried to make it to Mexico on an exercise bike.
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@DurtMcHurtt: When I die, I want my decaying carcass to be loaded into a giant slingshot and flung into a rich kids bouncy castle.
@ericsshadow: My wife and I asked my son who he loves most. He pointed all around. I said he had to choose, then he told us he was pointing at the wifi.
@SteveSuckington: [GOP Debate] MODERATOR: this question is for Senator Cruz. How will you handle zodiackillersayswhat? CRUZ: what? MODERATOR: I knew it!
@Inferno_V: A grown man smelling like baby powder stood next to me today. My maternal instincts have never been so confused.