@Adar79Angie: There's Angie, and then there's Drunk Angie, and one of us tried to make it to Mexico on an exercise bike.
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@JoParkerBear: America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and half is spent trying to lose weight, and half is spent on education.
@CoolCamel69: Son, I found some drugs in your backpack "Dad I swear they're not mine" DAMMIT SUSAN, THEY ARENT HIS. 1st time we were proud and you blew it
@BestScienceJoke: 2night's funniest bit: a fellow comic enters the room &, given a choice between talking w/ me & w/ a homeless man, chooses the homeless man.
@intellegint: Girls love it when guys: - are respectful - are handsome - eat watermelon really fast and spit out the seeds like a machine gun