@_itspat_: There's been a rash of break ins recently involving teenage boys, so I switched out all the locks in my home with bra clasps.
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@Sassafrantz: Ghosts are pretty cool because they can literally do anything they want, but they choose to hide my keys.
@tombrodude: tinder, huh? back in my day if you wanted a girl to notice you, you had to dress like a gargoyle and cling to the roof of her parents' home
@imdaintyaf: Don't date a man expecting to change him. At the end of the day he'll still be a man, and you'll have wasted your black candles and a goat.
@Gooooats: Drive by shootings are just one more example of Americans being too lazy to get out of their cars.