@WilliamRodgers: There's been a whole lot of office Romance since I became self employed...
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@Home_Halfway: The most annoying part about getting older is the incessant desire to give those younger than me unwanted advice.
@JohnHilsen: When grocery shopping, I only buy foods that can also be used as a weapon. Cantaloupe is a good example of this.
@murrman5: [wife looking at sketch of donut burglar on the news] "he looks like you" [me holding huge glass of milk on way to basement] it's not though